ode to the free spirit

This is something which has been on my mind probably for more than a few days.Especially since Adam Lambert came out in the open about his sexuality.And it is this which finally is lying the foundation of my blogging endeavour.

I am a bengali,born and brought up in Kolkata,now living in the United States with my husband and 5 year old daughter.Precisely we live in Sunnyvale,California.We have been living here for the last 3 years.Prior to this we lived in Saint Louis,Missouri.

California for that matter is very different from the rest of the United States.There is the American way and then there is the California way of doing things.The reason for this would be the mix of the population we have in this state.Well, having a common border with Mexico down south explains the influx of the spanish speaking mass of people here.Then the silicon valley is the reason behind the so called "brain drain" from countries like India and China.

The school my daughter goes to is a well renouned private school based in the Bay area having several branches.The total strength of her class is 22.And 20 kids are Indians barring the two other representatives of China.Having a proper American white neighbour in Sunnyvale would be a rare treat.Not that we mind but thats how things are.

Ohhh.... this reminds me the purpose of this write up.The verbose human being that i am ,its very easy for me to wade away from my chain of thoughts.We have this neighbour ...two very normal Fijian ladies.My reiteration of the word "normal" would have started a tirade between me and S( husband).The reason being, this much discussed pair of girls in this predominant indian neighbourhood are homosexuals.
Its quite understandable that California is a safe haven for a lot of people who are different.

Wikipedia says"In mid-2008, California became the second U.S. state, after Massachusetts, to make marriage licenses available to same-sex couples. The status of same-sex marriage in California has been a contentious political issue since at least the late 1970s,[1] and the controversy escalated with the passage of Proposition 22 in 2000, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's 2004 decision to issue same-sex marriage licenses, a 2008 California Supreme Court ruling regarding same-sex marriage, and the passage of Proposition 8[2] later in 2008. New licenses for same-sex marriages are unavailable as of November 5, 2008, and the status of same-sex marriage was uncertain pending the legal challenges to Proposition 8. On May 26, 2009, the California Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8, but did not overturn previous same-sex marriages.[3] Same-sex marriage supporters are trying to get another ballot initiative to overturn Proposition 8 in the 2010 election."

It is quite common to see gay couples in the city(San Francisco) and all over the bay area.There are a lot of gay parents too.For me they are as normal as you and me.But this is the bone of contention in my household.S,not a jump to conclusion kind of guy,thinks this can be anything but normal.Nevertheless we are in no position to judge somebody.He says he fears for our daughter.And the message has to be clear to her that being different in this manner is not acceptable.S feels that the happy loving family that we have ,can ward off such kind of threats which are nothing but manifestations of festering insecurities.

I really am confused sometimes to conform to such strong opinions as his.Because a lot of times its children from good families with very well grounded and settled parents comes out with their different sexual orientation.I know all of S's thinking somehow is shaped thinking of G(our daughter's) future.He is kind of ok with everything as long as it is outside the boundaries of his house.

S makes his displeasure so evident if we would catch the two said people we are discussing just being playful in the pool together.Its not uncommon to see heterosexual couples being intimate in public in this country.So why the discrimination I ask?He says its so unnatural to have people of the same sex professing their love in the wide open.I too squirm a little if i would see such things.I would even try to distract away little G's attention somewhere else.But i dont really agree that this is what you choose to be.

I am rather of the thinking that i would not want such a thing happen in my family or for that matter to friends.Because we all come from the" Dad" being the patriarchal head of the family kind of background and our beliefs in the traditional family structure is beyond any such influences.

Nevertheless, if this is what makes one happy so be it.Happiness is elusive in this world and you should chase it come what may.And yes this is something i absolutely am strong about.Last year when the Prop 8 was passed i cant forget the images of people flooding the television.Faces of two ladies in their 60's who finally after waitng and being together for 30 some years tying the knot .Ohh... the ebullient atmosphere at the city hall that was,is unforgettable.Happiness is infectious.And you do feel happy to see others happy.

So at the end of it S and I, could have come across as hypocrites.When one does not have a clear line of thought i guess hypocrisy is inevitible.But these are the trials and tribulations of mortal human life.Nobody is perfect.What really amazes me here is the land we live in.Expats from all over the world make this country what is is.It is the open free world,the land of opportunities.It is our new home and yes,we can make decisions here which makes us happy.It is the free spirit here which lets you be what you are without being evaluated.

It is ironical sometimes to think that the Talibans choosing to execute women without the burqua ,yet at the same times in some other part of the world two other women choose to be partners and live a conjugal life just like any other heterosexual couple.This land amazes me.It makes everybody their own.Or wherelse would you find a man being pregnant.The beauty queen from Hawaii who was a transsexual and had gone for a sex change.She/He later on decided to conceive a baby as his wife was not able to.Amazing!!!!Good or bad ...who are we to judge.But yes we do ode the free spirit of this land.